September 5, 2016

I woke up today missing you so much that I did the one thing I swore not to do for a while -I read the cards and letters we gave each other in the past. I wanted so much to remember how my life was when you were still here. I’m so afraid I ‘ll forget.

The last card you gave was for my birthday in September of this year. I remember telling you not to buy a gift anymore, you have given me so much. I told you that if you still decide to give me a gift, keep it simple.

We celebrated my birthday at the Aqua Room of H20 Hotel. We were so fascinated by the wall-sized aquarium. You brought party hats although there were just for the two of us celebrating. You sang my happy birthday song then you gave me my gift.

It was my pre-chosen affordable pair of shoes. I was not surprised, but I was happy receiving it. I tried the shoes on, but I felt an object inside the left shoe. It was a small red heart-shaped box.

You knelt with one knee and mockingly asked me to marry you again. The small box contained a heart-shaped ring. I chided you for buying the ring, but it made me happy and kilig. You had a good laugh at my reaction.

Part of the card you gave me that day says:

“This is the 5th year we are celebrating together your birthday but who’s counting? I intend to celebrate it with you in this lifetime and the next.”

Thank you for keeping your word. You indeed celebrated all my birthdays with me since we have been together.

I was  not counting my birthdays with you. I thought we had many more birthdays to celebrate together, that is why I asked to keep it simple this year.

It never entered my mind that that would be the last birthday we celebrate together.

I caught on video your birthday wish for me that day: “happiness, and happiness and more happiness.”

I’m sorry, I cannot do that yet.


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